I can’t believe that going to India is a possibility for me. Kimmi, Lauren and I are planning on going this summer. I have to pray and ask God if it’s something He wants me to do, but I know that if I go it will bless His heart. I have this strange impression that going to Calcutta would be a gift to my Father in heaven. I would love to give that gift to Him, to give Him a month of service amongst the poorest, dying, and orphaned. But I don’t understand giving a gift to God, I’ve never felt like I was worthy enough to give Him one. I mean how do you give a gift to the greatest Giver of all?! [That makes me think of the book… The Giver, now I want to read it.]

Chris Daughtry (spelling? sorry!) came up to me on Sunday and asked me about something I learned about God this summer. He and I had message a couple of times on Facebook over the summer and I had told him that I was becoming aware of God as my husband. Last Sunday I didn’t recall this season and haven’t yet looked over my journals to see what I did learn during it, but something that Chris said during our conversation struck me. He said that he was a bit confused about how I could have God as my husband because that would make Him my equal and partner. How could we as humanity be in an equal relationship with God, the creator?! I couldn’t quite answer those questions myself, even though Chris rationally went through his thoughts in front of me. I think he came to a conclusion about how that was possible, but I still couldn’t until… I realized that my going to Calcutta would be a gift to Jesus (or could be). I love giving really good and thoughtful gifts to people (they don’t happen very often, but when they do I hope they are really good.) I love their reaction and eat up the joy they exude when they receive it. I see this in giving my gift to God, I want to see the joy on His face when He receives it… when He receives the willing heart, the glory, the love from me to His beloved. I long to please the Father, oh man… I can’t wait to recall what I learned about Him as my husband!  In my mind this sort of makes God my equal… I think it has something to do with my ability to affect Him with this gift.